How to Talk to Your Senior Parent: Tips for Uncomfortable Conversations

When it comes to talking with your senior parent about the possibility of relocation or acquiring ongoing care, it's challenging for everyone involved. If your parent can no longer live independently or make the soundest decisions for their care, it is a hard pill for them to swallow. They may attempt to avoid the conversation or refute your ideas despite your good intentions. This is more than likely due to aging-related issues such as dementia or depression and other frustrations.

You need to approach this conversation with the utmost care, and here are a few tips to help accomplish this:

• Have this conversation as soon as you know it is needed. Do not wait until your parent becomes more incompetent or is struggling with their health to the point that they are unfit to be a part of this decision.

• Don't offer advice; offer options. This means expressing your concerns without telling them what you think they should do. Instead, ask for their input.

• Avoid close-ended ("yes"/"no") questions to keep the conversation moving forward. Give them the space to express their concerns and ideas for the best course of action.

• You may land on the ideal decision for what is next, but they may not agree. Respect their wishes, agree to disagree, and be patient. As long as they aren't in the midst of an immediate financial or health crisis, you can pick up the conversation again at a later point. It may take many attempts over time - another reason to be proactive about having this talk.

• Always keep the conversation positive and collaborative and focus on solutions. If your parent is resistant, suggest making a list of pros and cons.