How to Know if Your Relationship is Unhealthy

You’ve likely heard before that relationships are hard work, and this is true whether your relationship is healthy or not. The biggest struggle for couples experiencing conflict is knowing what specific areas of their relationship need more work or if the dynamics just aren’t there to make it last.

The following are helpful indicators that the state of your relationship could use some improvement:

• There’s an imbalance in contributions

• From household work to sharing emotions, one partner may be consistently putting in more effort. If one partner notices a significant imbalance, which is often coupled with a lack of acknowledgment, they may become resentful

• You don’t make time for intimacy

• When one or both partners prioritize their work or other responsibilities over romance, it can cause them to grow apart

• How you handle conflict is unhealthy

One key indicator of a healthy relationship regarding disagreements is that a partner focuses on their unhappiness with their partner’s behaviors rather than criticizing or undermining their self-worth. Unhealthy arguments are marked by insults, defensiveness, and sometimes emotional manipulation or even violence.

Your share of responsibilities or desires for intimacy will likely never be exactly 50-50, but the important thing to note is which of these key indicators are significantly off balance. From there, you both can decide whether these are things you are willing to work on. No matter what, couples therapy is an ideal place to start before you make any big decisions.

Through therapy, you and your partner can address problems that typically interfere with your daily lives. Therapy can help you improve your communication and practice listening and speaking with respect, care, and honesty.